Today is my twelve-week anniversary of ending up in an ambulance, 12 nights in hospital and a whirlwind of emotions thereafter. Approximately 17:05 my life changed as I know it. I’ve honestly sat in front of this computer willing myself to write words of wisdom, updates and details of my “Rock Star” recovery but each & every time over the past 2 weeks (at least) I’ve just turned the PC off and watched something on TV instead to take my mind off things. It’s the self-reflective stuff that has scared me more than the injury itself – writing this blog does shine a light on my own thoughts and highlights my own weaknesses and that’s perhaps the reason the Tour De France, the Olympics, La Vuelta (Tour Of Spain), endless box sets with pretty scary crap acting have been the better option than sitting here writing this!
The last blog highlighted my recovery and my attempt at watching Holkham Half and watching my friends race and achieve their goals. It’s definitely been a distraction and I’ve become that “super-supporter” that every athlete probably cringes about – you know the one, properly overly keen in a weird type of way! lol
A couple of weeks moving on from Holkham it was chance to go to Eastbourne to watch Suzy compete at the Eastbourne Half Triathlon. After the amazing result at Grafman she really wasn’t bothered that much on the run up & down Eastbourne Promenade so the organiser moved her over to the Aquabike Half event. A 1900 sea swim around (and under) Eastbourne Pier and a 56-mile ride into the lumpy hills nearby. My situation hadn’t improved that much so I was wheelchair-bound and could only be pushed around once we had arrived there. Luckily the hotel was half-way between the pier start and the transition so only a 5-min walk (wheel). After a dodgy night of noisy air-conditioning we were upgraded to a disabled room which suited me more.
Suzy wasn’t going to let me watch her race at 6am in the morning as she’d be worrying about me in a wheelchair whilst she was out there. So, we agreed I’d stay at the hotel and just meet her once she’d finished and returned to the hotel room. In fact I was sitting in the restaurant eating breakfast when she returned, she joined me just in time for breakfast and told me how she’d come 2nd female in her event and 7th overall.
We finished breakfast together, she got changed and we headed down to the transition area to help out, handing out water & gels/bars at a feed station for a few hours, just to give the organiser a hand really as a thank you. Suzy collected her trophy for 2nd placed female and we spent a few hours cheering on other competitors out there who were doing either the half or the full ironman-distance event in the hottest weekend so far this year.
The main event for me was having a shower in my disabled bathroom – to-date it’s been hand washing and a quick flannel-down each day. I haven’t had the ability to get upstairs in our house and definitely not getting into the bath due to the pain of lifting my right leg. So a shower was definitely my “A-Race” that weekend.
Move on a few days it was time for my 8-week surgical review. This was definitely a case of Expectations Vs Reality. I had expected him to say I could start to put weight on my leg (as tolerated) and then accelerate my recovery but he was honest and said it would be another 6-weeks until the next review and then he would make a decision on the weight bearing. I told him of persistent pain in my right foot and just to make sure he sent my down to the x-ray department not only to get an update on my knee but also to see if I had broken my foot too.
20-mins wait later and it was clear I had broken my foot as well – that’ll explain the foot pain! So, not only was I still on my crutches for the next 6 weeks, I was also carrying another broken bone to add to the extensive list of injuries incurred on that local country road several weeks beforehand.
The Expectation was coming out of the hospital trying to walk with weight on both feet using crutches until I didn’t need to but the Reality was another 6 weeks stuck indoors and waiting to depend on others. Totally losing my independence for another month or so and just waiting for someone else to give me a green light to get on with my life that loosely resembled what my own life looked like before the incident. I’m not going to lie, that hit me pretty bad and the next few days were full of frustration, anger, and all the things that come with a negative outlook on this situation.
In a telephone conversation withy coach the following Monday, it was emphasised that if I were a “Pro” Triathlete this injury would be just mere stumbling block along the route. I was told in not so many words that “my team” would be getting me to do things that I could do, rather than focusing on the things I couldn’t.
My team would be getting me to go to the gym and do upper body exercises, some core exercises, maybe some hip exercises, maybe getting me on a bike with very little resistance to at least turn my legs to help the rehabilitation, maybe even swim – where bodyweight is much less in water. These ideas and suggestions were in fairness rejected instantly and I even felt like hanging up on the coach in a fit of rage but I continued the phone call and at least heard what he had to say. A few days on these ideas sinking into my stubborn brain led me to decide to go to the gym for the first time. Just like new members I was so anxious to go so I went at the least-busy time of the week….Sunday evening. I hobbled in on the crutches and sat on the machines and barely used them but at least I made that first step (so-to-speak).
From this point I researched a pedal attachment that gives me a smaller Range Of Motion on my affected side – a “Pendulum Pedal”. This device is usually for para-athletes so the prices are hiked as a result (IMHO). Nonetheless I purchased this to put on my bike to at least use on the turbo-trainer to get some kind of exercise every other day. When it arrived it didn’t fit my road bike so I had to fit it to my TT bike, the road bike cranks were too thick – the clamp wasn’t wide enough. Along with that purchase I bought a cry-cuff – a device that looks like a blood pressure cuff that you fill with ice-cold water instead of getting a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer. Also a pretty tight compression knee cuff and some Glucosamine pills that I used to take years ago to help with joint health. All these items I now use either every day or at least every other day alongside my gym visits and swim sessions.
Regarding swimming, the issue with me was getting into the pool. The health club I use has a disabled change half-way down the pool hall, not entirely helpful when accessing the pool with crutches, you have to travel round half the pool edge, on wet floors to get to the steps. I have slipped a few times, luckily not dropping to my knees each time. Once in the pool I just needed to remember to use a pull buoy to eliminate leg use and to push off each end with my left leg only. Other than that it’s been nice at least getting back to some kind of normality. My only concern now is when I get the all-clear to use my other leg I’ll need to ditch the pull buoy and will have to learn to swim and be naturally buoyant all over again thus losing (probably) 10 seconds per hundred to start with!
The biking has been ok – I’ve decided on three ways to make progression. 1-To increase the watts on the turbo trainer each session, maybe even by just one watt; 2-To increase the duration maybe by a minute every now and again to give me some kind of endurance; and finally 3-To adjust & lengthen the clamp so that in the end I will be back to my normal pedalling motion with the pedal back in the old crank. The riding position has been the hardest thing so far – when you’re uncomfortable on the bike you simply just stand up for a few pedal revolutions, adjust yourself and then sit back down. The fact I cannot stand up and put weight on my right leg means I cannot do this so I literally have to come to a stop to adjust, and then start again to build up some sort of speed again.
Another rehab angle has been physical therapy by a private physiotherapist, who was referred to me by a few people. His expertise in knee injures (skiing mainly) has been helpful and only after my 2nd appointment my range of motion and strength has increased. He has issued strengthening exercises which I have followed religiously for nearly 3 weeks and I have noticed progression. In fairness this should’ve been ongoing as soon as I was mobile but it’s taken a few months more to get me to this position so at least I’m doing it now.
So, that’s where I am now. Exercising daily, doing more upper-body resistance training than I need to, riding my bike for about an hour indoors to at least to remind my legs what they need to do once I can add some proper resistance hopefully in the near-future, swimming every other day with my pull buoy firmly attached and my physio-prescribed exercises thrown in.
Some people have even dared to suggest I’m back training as much as I was before the incident – this couldn’t be further from the truth….
This part of my “journey” regarding this blog that I started up a few years ago primarily about training for triathlons, has been the hardest 3 months of my life. I’ve had some proper dark moments in my life, some moments I thought I’d never survive but here I am still winging it. And then this injury – a Tibial Plateau Fracture, Type 2 – look it up, it isn’t pretty and some patients never walk properly again. Yet here I am trying to get back to competitive triathlons one day in the murky future. The people who’ve visited me at home in the past few months have helped immensely with my mental health and those who I thought should’ve visited…well, sometimes it makes you realise some people are just good at talking the talk.
The people who’ve taken time out to talk to me either messaging me on some idle Tuesday or when I’m outside at Parkrun cheering you all on, In the gym, or at other events supporting other athletes, I’m truly grateful for that chat. These chats make me realise how far I’ve come since those first few steps from my hospital bed.
I need to keep telling myself this progression – because in reality I don’t remember any of that when I’m sat here still unable to walk after 3 months. The emotions I feel towards the perpetrator of this incident are mixed each & every day. The emotions come out in all sorts of ways and unfortunately Suzy gets to see these first-hand every day – I can only guess how frustrating it is just to watch someone you care about go through this – I wouldn’t wish it on anyone and feel somewhat guilty for feeling this way (or that way) and allowing Suzy to see how raw it is at times. Anyone else would’ve walked by now!
2 more weeks and it’s another hospital visit to see….