January has passed, as always it’s a long month mentally and financially, it’s kind of in the middle of nowhere – no man’s land – somewhere between what never happened last year and what might happen this year. When I say “might”, your guess is as good as mine but I’m remaining ever hopeful and positive about the year ahead.
My head is buried in work, books and training at the moment. Dedication or Distraction I wonder?
The “Work From Home” government guideline does not work for me as I’m in the logistics chain and without our efforts there’d be nothing on the shelves in your supermarkets or corner shops, not to mention our NHS contract. It’s a standard working day for me – inbound/outbound, paperwork, prepare consignments for the next day and then go home. A simple life – judged by some but I’ve been in the rat race long enough to know it’s about quality of life and working to live rather than living to work.
Geographically in contrast Suzy “commutes” upstairs to her make-shift office in the spare bedroom, does her 10hr-day sitting in front of a computer screen, sitting in & facilitating calls listening in, steering projects to completion only to “commute” downstairs to sit in front of another screen with me for the evening. She’s now been with her new company for nearly a year and has stepped into their office some 80 miles away three times I think! They’ve announced this will continue for 2021 so that’s another few months of limited contact. I’m being perfectly honest and I would’ve exploded by now – either at my nearest & dearest or my boss. Both scenarios would’ve ended badly in my mind so I’m grateful I get to “commute” properly each working day and very understanding to Suzy’s need to get outside in the fresh air regularly to avoid “Cabin Fever”.
As far as books are concerned I’m currently on Tools Of Titans by Tim Ferriss – a 600+ page book with multiple famous athletes, businessmen etc. with clips of their daily routines and mental application to everyday life. This book was mentioned several times in two other books I read earlier in the month – Not A Diet Book & Not A Life Coach Book by James Smith – a down to earth PT who used to work out of Fitness First Bracknell. I used to work for FF “back in the day” as the Fitness Manager and then Regional Fitness Manager travelling weekly to Chesterfield and Tottenham Court Road for various meetings. One day – just as James Smith – I said “enough” and simply moved to a different job. This guy moved to the other side of the world where he has made a good life for himself. I just moved 30 miles away to a different gym! But I feel a parallel nonetheless in deciding to be a master of my own destiny rather than hang on in there because I don’t like change. Who does?! It’s a human trait that we all have – to remain where we are because it’s safe, because we’ve invested so much time and/or money into this part of your life you’re too committed or scared to move on.
Earlier in the month I finished Mountains According To G by Geraint Thomas – the 3rd book of his describing famous climbs in differing countries, many of which I’ve personally climbed so can relate, I find his comical approach to his experiences a great way in getting across to the general public, not just the niche cycling fraternity. Alongside that book I finally finished the Autobiography of Sean Yates – It’s All About The Bike – again a very personal approach to the sport indicating how someone was so obsessed with cycling it was a detriment to everything else in his life in some way or another and could’ve cost him his life in the process. A great journey nonetheless.
Training is going as well as can be expected, I’m simply ticking over with a couple of Turbo (Zwift) sessions and running a few times a week to keep the systems going until Boris lets us back in the swimming pool (and gym) so I can start to build some form of fitness into the theoretical races in 2021. As I said in my last blog the 2020 races have all been deferred over to 2021 so I’ve literally not entered anything for 2021 – a financial bonus I guess! The first is in May – a half iron distance in Nottingham. I’m not holding my breath as we’re in this mess until March at least so I’ll just keep plugging on.
Coming back to the “Dedication Or Distraction” question: Which is it? …….
Yesterday I literally read this phrase… “If you let your learning lead to knowledge, you become a fool. If you let your learning lead to action, you become wealthy.”
My aim throughout January and indeed as long as I can throughout 2021 is to gather knowledge on how even the most famous, successful and wealthy (monetary or life) have dealt with difficult situations. All too often I read of how someone did this or that to become successful, how they achieved that Personal Best, that Olympic Medal or World Title. I read posts about current athletes and how “great” they’re feeling and how “awesome” their training structure is. It’s never how they coped with the daily routine that got them there – no-one talks about that – the taboo subject – Mental health when things get tough. My aim is both parts of the phrase – to gain knowledge and to use it once I’ve set my own path. It’s dedication to my own journey and it’s also a distraction to the current situation.
Here’s another Tim Ferriss phrase – “If you ran into an asshole in the morning you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.” Struck many chords with me – unfortunately not for the right reasons at times in my past life. I’m sure Suzy can vouch for my “Diva Tantrums” from time-to-time and my spirals when things don’t go to plan – I swear I’m on that spectrum somewhere. Before someone gets all “woke” about that comment my step-son is autistic and I think he’s one of the most wonderful and colourful characters the world has in it at the moment. He’s different to others and that scares the majority because they can’t see past that.
I’m starting to take a positive approach, as best I can (small steps), when faced with negativity from others’. I related to Social Media in a previous blog on how many can misinterpret opinions & thoughts and how many can change from a “social butterfly” in 1-2-1 scenario yet seem to become horrific, condescending and destructive in the world of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. The individuals’ view of this country’s lockdown is varied at present, some believe it should be a total lockdown – Australia-Style and some believe there should be no restrictions – and there’s the rest of us somewhere in the middle. How we deal with this is our own choice and we shouldn’t be demonized of made to feel like a “social leper” if our choice is different to someone else. I base my own decisions on facts presented to me – I am not “confirmation biased”, I know a lot of people who are set in their ways, refusing to accept new evidence, that’s a very blinkered position to put yourself in but….”each to their own” I guess. I’m willing to accept new thoughts and ideas on not just lockdown but on every ideal that I thought was true – it’s quite liberating.
Taking my last blog as an example – I’ve received a lot of comments and private messages from people saying how the blog is honest and revealing. I don’t look for the praise – I find if you’re looking for affirmation of others you can lose your whole identity. Ironically I may get some likes when I post this on my Facebook page – not to say you shouldn’t “like” a post if you can relate to it or just like the content – that’s what the “like” button is there for. I do get that quick “Dopamine Hit” when someone can relate or simply likes the post – I’m not going to lie. It’s the fact that I’ve put all these thoughts swirling in my head into text and “out there” for all to see, it’s therapy as such. My whole Journey since this blog began, primarily about my new Triathlon Journey to Ironman Barcelona, is to get those thoughts out of my head and onto paper (so-to-speak) so I can get on with the daily tasks unclouded.
To use Social Media as the example I see a lot of people chasing the “likes” as if to justify their own existence…. I used to get wound up about it, god knows why. I don’t buy into that narrative anymore – half the crap on social media is false anyway. If someone wants to drop material everyday on their page then so be it, if that gets them through whatever they’re going through then that’s a “Hell Yes” from me (Another Tim Ferriss Phrase). I’ll “like” it if it strikes a chord or if it helps that person get through another day of Lockdown, difficulties etc. But if it’s just to put someone else down then that’s a big NO from me – it says more about the Troll than it does about the recipient of those comments. To (try to) be funny at the expense of someone else’s Mental Health does beg a lot of serious questions about that individual. They don’t need to know the mental state of the recipient – that’s a total copout, “Oh I didn’t know” is just plain wrong when you actually should just be a decent human being. I do very briefly put myself in their shoes and think “how bad is my own situation where I need to make others feel like shite to make myself feel better or popular”. It baffles me – it really does. I’ve since distanced (and blocked) these Trolls from my feed and feel better for it already – I do wish them well and whatever they’re going through but I don’t want to be part of that cycle of hatred, torment and malice towards others.
To coin another Tim Ferriss phrase “Focus on your big goals, and cut out the 20% of things that cause 80% of your unhappiness”. There it is – 80% of my day was worrying what other people thought of me and said about me – either to my face or behind my back – or behind the security of a keyboard! That’s got to change – it seriously has to change. And there was me, waiting for the planets to align to change people’s behaviours, wanting that affirmation and losing my identity in the process, when all along I had it in me to stop accepting their behaviour as the norm.
Last one of the day – “The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.” My “work in progress” positive-self moving into 2021….
